Not Knowing My First Ever Break-Up Was Even Possible. LOL!

Good Evening Sheepies. What a few weeks it has been! I thought I may as well finish Winter with a BANG! 

So today's blog will be dedicated to break-ups. Awkward...

Now I guess you are wondering why I am on the topic of break-ups as I have had zero boyfriends. And I would like to confirm that this is true. HOWEVER I can now say I have been broken up with! This is quite the honour.

I was actually unaware 3 dates constituted the term "relationship."

1. We first caught up at the local pub on Saturday night, 
2. Second date was on the Tuesday at his house then walked to get food and just hung out there
3. Date number three was Thursday night. He came around with kebabs. Roomie was home so just a causal hang. You can ask her.

Actually all the dates were very cas and all quite enjoyable.

Now of course there were some red flags... (Oh hindsight is an amazing thing);

1. A grown man who owns a bunny and takes him to work. I thought he kind of pulled it off but on second thoughts I think he loved it a bit too much. He didn't enjoy my rabbit pie joke.
2. He owned a lot of "man" jewellery. Claimed as gifts but still he owned a gold chain. This is only okay is your occupation reads: Pornstar
3. I did question if he was a homosexual after date number 1 due to mannerisms, clothing choices and he uses the word 'pizazz.'
4. He wore a scarf
5. He was from Melton 
6. His age(when they have a few years behind them you wonder why?)
7. Date number 2 was interrupted by two lesbian hockey players who proceeded to ask him if the tribunal had contacted hum after his match on Saturday and they also mentioned his opponent had ended up in hospital.
8. He plays hockey
9. He had a studded belt
10.  As below... I just want it noted. He seemed relatively normal but I am glad to have dodged a bullet or in his case a canon ball.

***Now clearly number 5 should be an auto deny***

Remember when this conversation took place I had known the man for a total of 8 days. I have also changed his name because it wouldn't be very nice to use it and he had a shocker first name that made him seem really old.For the purpose of this, I will call him John. John and I had last spoken on Friday when we said we would catch up Sunday. I told him I would be in Bendigo for a baby shower but would be back Sun night and we could do something then. I had not heard from John at all over the weekend. By the time I had gotten home it was 7.00 pm and I decided. He must of forgot, but I would message him at 8 o'clock to see how his weekend was. Slightly disappointed to not have heard from him, oh well never mind!

OKAY ARE WE READY !!!???

I mean are you sure? You really need to brace yourself because I worry for the state of mind. Please NOTE I have not changed the texts to make myself better or him look worse... This actually happened. I apologise for his confusing fullstops as well they are poorly placed:

John is the red text (red is for angry/crazy)

I am the blue text (blue is for cruisey/normal)

Hey? Hope you weekend was nice

Thought I would let you contact me.. Was a big mistake..... We were meant to hang tonight?

Hey John!

Great weekend! How was yours?

Sorry I haven't been home long! Went and seen dad and gave him his present instead of heading straight back.

What ya up to?

Mine weekend was very family orientated.. I'm just watching tv at home.

Did your nephew win hockey?

Are you super tired...? I cans till come around and watch a movie or something if you're up to it!

Little fellas won yesterday. Was great to see see them win.. They were very pleased.

It's cool, but thanks anyway.

Oh Goodo! 

No worries. SOrry I just sorta thought ud msg and then time got away. Well we'll catch up this week when ya free? 

15 minutes passes - no reply.

John you sound a little annoyed...

Sorry.. Was watching a movie. Not annoyed don't stress.

Okie doke enjoy the movie

An hour and a half later.... At 10.02pm

Hi, I'm just going to let you know that I'm not interested in continuing our relationship.

Oh ok no worries. May I ask why? Last time I checked you enjoyed hanging out with me and we were going to catch up tonight? And a total flip tonight? Dont worry I wont get crazy girl just interested in why?

I do like hanging with you, and I have been a really goo communicator to you. Yet you cant do the same. Only when pressed did you ask to come over.. And I dont want you to have to be reminded to come hang out with me.

That's the reason for the flip. I know that you visited your Dad today, which was nice. All you had to do was send a text and it would of made sense.

Was really excited about tonight and planning all day to cook you dinner. And just hang with..House mate knew.. Then had to say that you learly weren't coming when I hadnt heard from you by quarter to eight.

Thanks Rach.

No worries all the best.

Yes... Yes that is what he felt the need to say because I had not messaged him after a casual discussion for a catch up on Sunday. 

Relationship is surely after a few months, maybe when there is feelings and not after three dates consisting of food?

Relationship, communicator, planning... Geezuz man, cool your jets. You are not Dr Phil. 

So we all know why the good looking 33 year old man is single.  Thank gosh this panned out over text I couldn't even imagine what my face would do it in that situation... We all know subtly isn't my forte.

The most awful part is he thought I would be very apologetic instead if he knew me I was already running for the hills and I do not enjoy running.

"Hi, I'm just going to let you know that I'm interested in continuing our relationship."

So I'm going to claim this as my first ever break-up although I believed it wasn't possible to break up with somebody you weren't actually seeing I can now proudly say you can. I HAVE BEEN DUMPED and it has provided me with much amusement and a story I will cherish. I will be forever locking my door.

...See guys this is what happens.

You think I'd be making this up. I can assure you I am not.I attract the crazy, loopy, needy boys. I'll let you know when I meet a real man.

Keep me in mind when you want me to make yourself feel better I got an endless amount of stories.

YOU'RE THE BEST,
RACHI METS xx