Taking (or not taking) the hint

My new topic for the week is, ’taking the hint’. People are incapable of taking a hint. They usually consist of those desperados who follow innocent victims around the night scene. Some can’t take a hinters try to disguise themselves by hooking up with other desperados, but you’re not fooling us. We know who you are!

I am no longer subtle which is part of the issue.  My honest or maybe harsh shutdown encourages these people to try even harder. The old no thanks doesn’t work so I’ve spent the last four years lying to people saying I’m seeing somebody, I have a contagious disease (I haven’t pulled that one but surely it would work), married, have a baby or am religious. I tried lesbian but that was the largest encouragement of all.

'Taking the hint' topic came to light when I headed out Saturday night. I was with three hotties (what’s a bonus two of them are hot identical twins)! As you can imagine that’s quite a hit with the males. Usually, to a degree, it’s welcomed… unless they were the caliber of the crowd on Saturday 28^th January at the relatively regular place to jive.

The relatively usual spot we go would be summed up as laidback-coolness. A place where relatively attractive males are located, good music is played, Bulmer’s is on tap and an occasional freebie is had.

…But that night there was something in the air. Maybe it was because the Big Day Out was the next day and or the normal people were preparing for it in the comfort of their own home with all their good looking friends, maybe. Or maybe my standards are improving or I’m getting less drunk.  Either way it was such a shame, for I who had travelled…Travelled to have my oxygen polluted with douche bags, drop kicks.

One drop kick (GET THIS) approached me. Came up, touched me on my sun burnt back and when I said please don’t I’m sun burnt. SLAPPED me! I said that’s not funny, please don’t! Then he hit me harder. The worst part is I was trapped in a booth. He came up and cock blocked me from leaving. The literal meaning too, he blocked me in the booth, there was no way in hell I was climbing over him or his willy... Eww not on at all drug riddled man. Then…it gets worse. For the rest of the night proceeded to pickup ‘top notch’ ladies in front of me whilst keeping his eyes open starring at me. Not only was it odd it was creepy and crazy. He was crazy! TAKE THE HINT BUSTER!

Now you’re waiting for a happy ending story that makes the last one irrelevant. Sorry! The night was followed by more bottom of the barrellers. This led us not going home when we should have and trekking around Melbourne in a cab because we weren’t ready to admit defeat and leave the night like that. Should have, totally should have. Yes my kebab was good but I feel as though I would not be disappointed going home earlier, richer and kebab less.

The highlight of my night was the gorgeous kebab man. Physically stunning, verbally cute however his strong religious beliefs (although not pushed upon me) may of clashed with my non religious beliefs.

Now obviously I’m not that girl in the club that boys bow down to or think I’m out of their league. I’m the friendly, bubbly one (also known as grenade according to my favourite people on Jersey Shore) who hangs out with the good looking ones. As a result I am now the one who gets the less fortunate member of the group. I’ll be nice but as soon as it starts getting cozy I’m not willing to make the sacrifice they are making for their friend. TAKE THE HINT PORKY PIG!

'boy shield'

Moving along… Religion did pop up during the night. I’m what you call an atheist. No I do not follow any religion or believe in anything not proved by science (apart from Santa, because we all know his legit). I should also note that I’m not against religion at all and I respect everybody’s own beliefs. Now getting to the point I found a great piece in my walk in wardrobe to steer away those unwanted strays. I wore a very cool wooden cross. I wore it because I like it and I understand to some people it signifies something greater but to me it was a cool, piece of wood that matched my dress. It was also handy when a boy came up, a regular try hard douche… and all I had to do to get him away was say sorry and hold up the cross. Never failed… as of yet. Perfect solution to not having to give them a hint subtle or not!

YOU THE BEST, RACHI xx

P.s. On a completely random note that is not related, in any shape or form to this blog, but I have been dying to tell share this jaw dropping news! OMGAHHH!!!! How unrecognizable is Drew Carey!? Anyone else noticed that? Good on you buddy! Good to see you got Mimi's subtle hints after all these years! 

Drew Carey