EASTER

How rare are my blogs now? Its like vanilla coke. Vanilla coke is the best also like my blogs.

What to write about? Hmm… good question. So I’m going to write about Easter.

In my family Easter isn’t a big deal. We aren’t religious so it doesn’t mean a lot. I couldn’t tell you of god died or got born on Easter or is it when he comes back from the dead?  To our family it means Barb gets to buy Easter Eggs for Al (dad) 3 months prior to Easter because that’s when the supermarkets say it’s okay to buy eggs.

So my Easter was giant fun. Spent with one of the besties and her family down in… DRUM ROLL PLEASE… Kerang! Yeah huh, who knew how fun Kerang could be. Log cabin - $4 Strong bows how can that go wrong? You’re right it can’t go wrong. It did end up with a sneaky pash on the ‘river bank.’ Now I say ‘river bank’ because it was more stagnant water – like a dam. The lucky local lad was trying to palm it off as the river BUT I’ve seen rivers and that was no river. Pla-ese!

Yes I haven’t had a sneaky snog in a long time. Must be because I’m now hitting my elder years and single men are harder to come by. That or I don’t get drunk anymore and my standards have increased…either or.

Okay so you don’t need to hear about my loose lips anymore.

Next topic about Easter… 4 day weekend. This is a new found appreciation for long weekends now I’ve taken up the dreaded task of full-time work. Yes I work with good people but the job itself…How should I say this nicely? Ummm… sucks balls. Yep, people calling me and yelling at me. Well like I tell everybody it’s not my fault you can’t build a house that can survive hail storms, thefts, floods, fires oh and the old collision. Yes you would be surprised how many calls we get when spiders have fallen from the visor and the person got scared and accelerated through their carport.

My favourite customers are the ones with strong accents. Not only can’t I understand them but they can’t understand me. Turns out speaking louder on the other end of the phone does not make it easier to understand.

• -   “YOU HAVE CALLED THE BUILDING COMPANY NOT YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY, CALL RACV THEY WILL BE ABLE TO HELP YOU!”
• -   “Yes RACV, I want you to”
• -   “GREAT WELL THEN FUCKING CALL THEM MOFO WE AREN'T RACV”

If I, who it is my job can’t understand the process, cannot. How the hell can normal citizens understand especially when English is not their first language. Still however it is frustrating none the less.

If I make it through the next couple of months, that will be a miracle. MIRACLE. I had my first sleep in. Woke up at 9.30am which is not great when you start an hour before that.

OHHHHHHHHHHH WELL… I’ll push on. I’m going to introduce a new holiday for August. If we have an Easter and we have a Christmas how about something like Australia day. Aww shit, they already have one of those. I feel like we have exhausted all opportunities. Maybe they should make the AFL grand final a long weekend. Yeah I’ll push for that. I’ll report back on how my meeting with Julia Gillard goes, after all she does play for Western Bulldogs doesn't she? (only highly political people like myself would understand that joke)

I got right off track then. My blog was about Easter. My Easter was awesome; eggs, alcohol, Easter egg hunts, tennis, sneaky-dam-bank-pash, Chinese food, Pub food, 9 sausage rolls.

So until next time Sheepies, stay alive.

YOUR THE BEST, RACHI METS xx